Trump has got to be kidding

The Mail Online says that the October Surprise Donald Trump has promised to unveil tomorrow is (bugles sound now): 

Donald Trump is to claim that he has unearthed divorce papers of Michelle Obama and the President, according to a respected financial pundit with links to the tycoon. 

It is alleged that the eccentric real estate mogul will claim that the documents show the First Lady and the President were at one point in their two decades of marriage seriously considering splitting up. 

Trump set the hare running on Monday by claiming that he was set to make an announcement on Wednesday that would be ‘bordering on gigantic' and that it would ‘possibly’ change the Presidential race.

Are you kidding me? A man with Trump's divorce record thinks this matters? Can you name me one couple with two or more decades gone by in their marriage who never once thought that the marriage was headed for at least possible breakup? This is a snoozer! The only people who might possibly be upset about this were never going to vote for him anyway!

Speaking of snoozers:

Famed civil rights attorney Gloria Allred will be in a Boston area courtroom Wednesday in an attempt to unseal the sworn testimony given by Republican Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney, in a prior court case, RadarOnline.com is exclusively reporting.

And that's it. Sealed testimony. Wow, I'm trembling with rage that Mitt Romney might have given sworn testimony that a judge ordered sealed. 

To quote the immortal Bugs on each of these public embarrassments: