How women get things done, and how men do

In a long-term volunteer organization (such as a church, but not only them) women and men get things done in mirror-image ways.

Women

Call one another on the phone to organize a luncheon or other kind of casual get together with nor particular agenda in mind. Women love to get together just to get together. They will spend a lot of time coordinating who will bring what to the event or otherwise arrange for the event to be possible.

By the end of the get-together, they will have thought of a project and will have task organized to get it done. They will break into small teams, usually of only two or three women per team, to accomplish the objective. What each team will do is discussed and agreed upon while they eat their chicken salad. By dessert, the task organization is finished and project accomplishment begins the next day.

They will not meet again as a whole group to discuss this project again. But they will get together again and decide on a new project. This process can go on forever.

Men

They will never call each other up to arrange a lunch, dinner, breakfast or any kind of gathering where the purpose is just to gather. Men do not get together simply to get together.

Men will get together if they understand in advance the objective of the meeting. The objective of the meeting can be as simple as, "decide which of three goals should be our next to achieve, and how to do it." This meeting should be as direct and to the point as it can.

Men will break into teams but will always want one man to serve as overall coordinator. They do not need to have each team's responsibilities laid out in advance, just the general purpose of the team and where it fits into the overall scheme.

Men have no problem with having whole-group meetings again to check benchmarks of progress. They expect the group leader to call them.

Men's projects culminate in a distinct, recognizable event. Suppose the church men's group decided to teach young local kids how to play baseball. This will culminate in a big game where the kids play one another and everyone can come watch.

Then they will have a party to celebrate.

Two major distinctions between women's projects and men's.

Women start with a party and end with a project. Men start with a project and end with a party.

Women choose projects based on what will make them happier with an improved status quo. That is, women tend to choose projects of which they see themselves as principal beneficiaries, even though others benefit, too. For women, the point of a project is to get it done, even if no one else much notices.

Men tend not to choose projects based on what will make themselves happier or even when the men are the main beneficiaries. For men, the point of a project is getting it done; once it is accomplished, men want others to know and admire (especially the women), but then the men may not give it any further thought.

Neither of these modi operandi are superior to the other. It's just the way they are. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. What do you think?