XX, XY: Articles on Sex, Marriage and Unfashionable Beliefs
In the Christian tradition, human beings were not given the gift of sex. Rather, humans were given the gift of marriage, with sex as an essential part of that gift. Marriage is a lifelong and exclusive sexual union. This union aims at new life; it strives to create a family unit which can create and welcome a new generation . There is some common ground; the Christian and the secularist both believe that “love” is important in sexual relationships. But the secularist tends to define “love” as an emotional experience; Christian revelation defines love as a commitment: a decision to value another more than oneself.
For the Christian love is a virtue, an excellent part of one’s character that shapes the whole person. True love changes us, it shapes our whole personality, our entire emotional life. Christian love is expressed in promises and sacrifices. So a secular theorist and a Christian can agree that society should honour romantic love. But the Christian will see the covenant made in marriage as the proper end of romantic love; secularists will be just as happy with contractual relationships that should only be maintained while all parties are happy and fulfilled.
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